9 Outta 10 Ain’t Bad

Wow. This list (minus the Albanian question — I’m not Albanian) sums up about half the conversations I have with strangers. Ok, probably not half — but one lady did ask me if I shopped in the children’s department (while I was wearing a business suit!).

I’ve also been told that I could “fit in someone’s pocket.” That puts an awkward twist on most conversations. You see, I don’t really want to hang out in anyone’s pocket. There’s lint in there. And my short little legs are fairly good at walking.

I’ve gotten used to living in a world where a lot of good stuff is out of reach. Because of this, I rely on two things:  (1) the “jump and grab” — a move used to get items off grocery store shelves and out of my kitchen cabinets; and (2) a little step stool that has five puzzle pieces that spell “Laura.” I got my “Laura stool” when I was a young pup, and I use it almost every day to reach my pants in my closet.

I think short people should date tall people. Short people need tall people to reach stuff….and tall people need short people to clean little corners that only short people can wedge into. It just makes sense.

I’d like to add a couple “short people” questions to the list:

#11. Do you sit on a phone book when you drive? (Answer:  No. But I used to sit on one of my grandma’s old couch cushions.)

#12. Is your mother short? (Answer:  No. She’s several inches taller than I am. I’m a short person who was born into a family of average-sized people.)

Now, I must go find a tall guy and ask him if he plays basketball. Then I’ll ask him how the weather is “up there” and see if he has time to change a lightbulb for me.


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6 Responses to 9 Outta 10 Ain’t Bad

  1. Heather says:

    I was just thinking about that Laura stool the other day!!

  2. Meredith says:

    I think there’s really a 3)—you use the yellow stool a fair amount, too! 🙂

    • bloglette says:

      I DO use the yellow stool a lot — but I’ve only lived with the yellow stool for 5 years. The Laura stool and I have been together for about 28-29 years. And…I just realized how gross “Laura stool” sounds.

  3. Meredith says:

    “Yellow stool” doesn’t sound too healthy, either. I promise not to say that you’re “stooling” when you use either one, though.

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