I’m Burnin’ Up!

Seriously. I keep burning myself.

Last Saturday, I spent the day outside yarding. I applied sunscreen. Unfortunately, I’m not exactly competent at sunscreen application.

After I was done yarding, I showered. I took off my tank top and saw a bright red imprint of my tank top on my back.

Ug.

I manage to sunburn my back in the same area every year.

The whole story about the over-tanned mom who allowed her kid to tan served as a nice reminder of my unintentional tanorexia.

As if a sunburned back wasn’t enough, I burned my finger yesterday.

How?

I dumped boiling water on it when I was draining Brussels sprouts. I think I was so excited to eat the sprouts I didn’t really notice my finger was burning. I noticed this morning.

At least my finger matches my back. I like to color coordinate.

Finally — because burns like to come in threes — I ate some burnin’ hot food today at Thai Flavors, the best Thai restaurant located next to a low-cost spay clinic.

To celebrate its 10th anniversary, Thai Flavors announced a little food challenge — anyone who finishes an “Iowa Hot” meal gets a free t-shirt. “Thai Hot” is listed as five stars on the menu — “Iowa Hot” is six stars.

I’ve watched a lot of Man vs. Food episodes, and the idea of a food challenge left me giddy with excitement. Several of my co-workers were also up for the challenge.

The result?

My co-workers and I totally rocked the challenge. I ate my Iowa Hot entree faster than you can say “low-cost spay clinic.” And I got a great t-shirt. I’ll probably wear it every weekend.

My momma was proud. I’m sure she’ll brag about her fire-breathing dragon daughter for days.

She was also pleased I didn’t burn my esophagus. (No joke. I think she really said that.)

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