Some girls go for Superman. His ability to change quickly in a phone booth is just plain impressive.
Some girls go for Spider-Man. He shoots web-like material from his hands and can climb like nobody’s business!
Me? I’m kind of an off-the-beaten path kind of gal. I’m not really looking for someone to save me as I hang from the ledge of a 500-foot-tall building. I don’t even think I have any enemies who would push me over the edge of a tall building. Plus, I’ll never figure out why Clark Kent has to wear glasses — Superman should have 20/20 vision.
Also, I hate walking into spiderwebs (sorry, Gwen Stefani). They stick to everything and make me feel all webby.
The way to my heart is through my stomach. I’m rarely in dramatic life or death situations, but I’m frequently hungry. Hence, I present my Seasonal Superhero:
He can spot a morel from a bazillion feet away! He can leap tall fences to pick a morel! He can find over 200 morels in a single afternoon!
It’s MOREL MAN! (aka: John)
Seriously! Check out his superior gathering skills!
The result of the gathering — best. supper. ever. (Three major food groups: mushrooms, asparagus, and sprouts!)
If you need me, I’ll be writing a comic book.