Squashing a Squash

I purchased a giant squash at the farmers’ market. And, by giant, I mean GIANT. However, I was a little intimidated by the squash. So, I did what any reasonable person would do:  I carried the extremely heavy squash home and put it down the basement. I put it in a nice cardboard box and surrounded it with butternut squash friends.

Last week, I decided it was time to take action and see how much squash soup a giant squash could make. Probably enough to turn me really orange.

But, alas, before I could think about 500 gallons of soup, I needed to bust my way into the giant cushaw squash. I googled “how to cut a cushaw squash” and watched a lovely video starring two people from the deep south and a giant hatchet.

At this point, I thought of the lovely Nigerian farm tool “loaned” to me by Carolyn. She lived in Nigeria for a year and received the farm tool from friends. Since she currently lives in El Salvador and doesn’t have a farm, she was nice and let it live at my house.

Nigerian farm tools are fabulous at chopping a cushaw squash. Who would have thought vegetarian dinner prep could get so violent? Well, it can.

If only I could provide a happy ending and say that I made soup for the masses and the peasants rejoiced. I cannot.

My cushaw squash had lived in the basement too long. Apparently, cushaw squash don’t really like to live in a box for five months.

I chopped up my squash and found mold and mush. So, I opened the back door and chucked the cushaw. (I later deposited the squash pieces in the compost pile so as not to be “that house” with the giant squash chunks frozen by the back door.)

No squash soup for me.

However, I’m no longer intimidated by giant squash. Next year I’ll put my Nigerian farm tool to better use, and I will have squash soup for the masses.

I may also need to invest in make-up to conceal the inevitable orange-ness.

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2 Responses to Squashing a Squash

  1. Carolyn says:

    YAY! I’m so glad that the tool got put to good use!!! It’s totally feeling loved and appreciated and can’t WAIT to be of assistance again! 🙂

  2. Meredith says:

    Forget the make-up and just say that you’re going for the Oompa Loompa look. I’m sure it will be all the rage next year.

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