Weekend Wedding and Weekend Watermelon

I enjoy monochromatic foods and alliteration weekends.

This weekend was brought to me by the letter “w.”

I went to a high school friend’s wedding on Saturday. I also discovered the wonders (see — “w”) of the buffet at the Indian restaurant near my house. Indian food makes my stomach smile. Unlimited Indian food at a buffet makes my stomach smile in a grimace-y fashion. But — seriously — it takes a strong woman to resist seconds when there’s warm naan, spinach, and fresh cheese involved.

Alas, I did not explode from over-consumption of Indian food because I was wearing a pretty dress for the wedding.

I’m pretty much an idiot for not taking any pictures at the reception. I’ll blame my lack of picture taking on the fact that each table at the reception had bowls of one of MY VERY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD CANDIES! I didn’t really crave candy as a little Laura, so for a candy to make my list of favorite foods means it was a super yummy candy.

These little fake fruit slices were definitely a “Laura was a good girl” treat. (This kind of makes me sound like a small animal — whatever, interpret as you wish.)

They’re so fake. And yet so delicious. They were definitely one of the highlights of the evening.

Other highlights from the evening include the signage at the reception. The reception was held at the Iowa National Guard Armory. It had a big reception room and was a perfectly nice place for a wedding reception. However, the front door had a sign that read, “in case of emergency, call 911.”

Really? Really? I’m at the Iowa National Guard building. Is the Iowa National Guard that reliant on 911?

Thankfully, there were no emergencies.

The entryway of the building had a framed American flag. According to the engraved sign by the flag, that particular flag was flown in Michigan and was successfully protected by members of the Iowa National Guard. Much like the “call 911” sign, the engraved sign confused me. Was Michigan under attack? Perhaps it was, but the general public was never aware of the attack thanks to the superb defensive tactics of the Iowa National Guard. That seems reasonable.

On Sunday, I went to my parents’ house for a family reunion. I think I ate an entire watermelon. Some people may say they ate a whole watermelon when they really just ate a couple big pieces of watermelon.

I don’t joke about produce quantities.

I like to think of watermelons as the Mount Everest of produce. Eating an entire watermelon in a 24-hour period takes determination, strength, and a strong bladder. These same qualities are probably useful when climbing Mount Everest.

After eating an entire watermelon, I feel lethargic and a little bloated with water. I’m not sure why I continue to consume entire watermelons summer after summer.

I’m looking for a support group. Preferably one with a nice restroom.

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