A Goat Would Be Nice

I love my yard, but sometimes I feel the relationship is a little one-sided.

I mow and mow and mow with my little electric mower. My mower always poops out before I do. It’s loveable, but it’s not exactly the marathon runner of lawn mowers. It’s probably not even a sprinter. It’s more like a little buddy disguised as a lawn mower. It gets lawn mower indigestion when it’s forced to mow long-ish grass. It mows a few swipes and then kind of gurgles. I tip it upside down, remove the grass from its innards and yell, “really, lawn mower?! really!?!?!” The neighbors must wonder about me.

Despite its weenie nature, I wouldn’t trade my mower for another mower. I probably wouldn’t even trade it for a goat. I have an irrational fear of many animals. And a goat would probably eat my veggies. Perhaps I’d trade my lawn mower for an exceptionally well-behaved goat that ate only grass and poison ivy.

I spent the entire evening in my yard. I mowed. I weeded. Then I rinsed and repeated.

I think I inhaled nearly every allergen known to man. Also, I’m an idiot and didn’t wear long pants when I weeded. This means I have a mystery rash on one knee. My fingers are little grubby nubs. I wash them…but they don’t really look cleaner. I like to think this builds character — valuable gardening character. And I love character. I really do. Almost as much as I love Brussels sprouts.

Here’s the current state of my yard.

This is one of my veggie gardens. Look! Baby veggies!

These are highly attractive lettuces. I used to have a t-shirt that said “lettuce be friends.” I’d totally be friends with these lettuces.

I am an amazing garden planner. If you look closely, you can see the Swiss chard is strategically placed between the beans and the lettuces. The Swiss are neutral, so this creates a nice little neutral zone to prevent potential conflict between the occasionally hostile beans and lettuce. Brilliant, I know. I may patent the idea.

This is my other veggie garden. Mr. Stripey the Tomato lives here along with some herb and flower friends. This garden is also home to a mysterious underground pea community. The peas haven’t appeared above ground yet, but I have high expectations.

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One Response to A Goat Would Be Nice

  1. Meredith says:

    I think if you get a goaty-goat-goat you will have to let me get a dog. 🙂 I also think “Goaty Goat Goat” would be an excellent name for the goat. Probably not the dog.

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