My Arm, My Arm!

Valentine’s Day didn’t disappoint. I ate an entire container of figs at work today. That made me extra happy. They were fig-licious. I also made Valentine’s Day brussels sprouts and coffee. This is not to be confused with regular Monday night brussels sprouts and coffee. There’s a big difference.

Holiday coffee is consumed out of my Iowa Public Radio mug. It cost $60, so I feel extra classy when I use it. I usually feel classy in my typical weekend/evening uniform of sweatpants with elastic ankle bands and paint stains and my “damn it feels good to be a gangster” t-shirt. So, extra class is really saying something.

The only low point in the day was when I almost lost an arm.

But I didn’t. Don’t worry.

We have a giant plastic tub at work. It has a narrow slit for papers — all paperwork with confidential information goes into this plastic tub and eventually gets shredded. For confidentiality reasons, the tub has a padlock.

I put a large stack of papers in the tub and then realized I needed one of the papers now living in the locked tub. I slid my arm in the narrow slit and tried to grab the papers. It didn’t work. I got tongs from the kitchenette. That didn’t work either.

During this process I got my arm stuck in the tub several times. Luckily, the tub is plastic and a little bend-y, so I was able to free my arm. However, my boss did come out of her office when she heard me shout “ow!” for about the 76th time.

Then, I thought to myself, “If the mountain can’t go to Moses, Moses should go to the mountain.” Yes, I realize now that the phrase is Muhammad and not Moses. At the time, Moses seemed like a good option.

Anyway, I managed to tip the tub over, and the paper I needed came out the little slit! Success! A Valentine’s Day miracle!

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2 Responses to My Arm, My Arm!

  1. Meredith says:

    I’m glad you didn’t lose an arm. And that we got the whole Moses/Muhammad distinction sorted out.

  2. Steven says:

    Have you considered simmering your brussels sprouts in coffee?

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