I’m a BIG fan of food presents. Much of my day is spent thinking about my next scheduled feeding, and food presents make my feeding times more exciting. Using the phrase “feeding times” kind of makes me sound like a puppy. And, I’m not ashamed to admit I am a little like an excited puppy when I see my favorite foods — I jump up and down, make little yelps of excitement, and then eat until my insides are stuffed. (In my world, “portion” = entire cookie sheet of roasted veggies, entire bag of dried fruit, etc.)
I’ve found a pretty good fruit and veggie supplier. This is one large reason I’m dating him. Some girls want jewelry — I’d rather have carrots and coffee. Seriously. (And squash — that was a previously mentioned gift.)
Last night’s food gifts were acquired during his recent trip to Oregon. The most exciting item was THE BEST CARROT I’VE EVER EATEN! Ever. And I’ve eaten a LOT o’ carrots. I’ve eaten so many carrots that friends thought I looked orange and encouraged me to detox from carrots while on vacation. They said I looked less orange at the end of the vacation.
The Best Carrot I’ve Ever Eaten (it needs to be capitalized) was giant. Giant veggies usually don’t equal tasty veggies. For example, my six-pound zucchini (affectionately named Sue Keeney) was not tasty at all. Sorry, Sue.
The Carrot was a-mazing. Really, it was everything a carrot should be — all carrot-y and crisp. It’s gone now, but I’ll always cherish the memories.
Other super exciting food gifts from Oregon include some micro-brewed coffee beans that smell oh-so-good and fresh mint for tea. I require a steady stream of warm beverages during the winter to maintain a near-normal body temperature. This is my own personal medical conclusion. If I ever moved to Minnesota, I’m convinced I’d need some sort of coffee IV drip.
I also received some sort of vegan, raw food “cracker.” I think the quotation marks are appropriate. I think I received this gift because the initial giftee thought the “crackers” were gross. I thought they were pretty good. I’m not sure what that says about my palate. The only identifiable ingredient was flax seeds. I ate several “crackers” for lunch, and I can attest to the fact that flax seeds go right through you if they’re not ground. I’ll admit I was oddly entertained by this.
And, after receiving fabulously exciting food gifts last night, my esteemed roommate had yet another food gift for me when I got home this evening — dried figs from Trader Joe’s. I purchased three bags of fig friends last weekend. I thought I could make them last all week. They lasted two days. After that, I just complained and moaned that my figs were all gone. I accused my roommate of eating them. We both knew this wasn’t true since she probably wouldn’t eat a fig even if I paid her.
She probably purchased figs so I’d stop complaining. This may have backfired. If my complaints result in gifts of figs, let the complaining begin!
(By the way — Meredith — if you read this, I’ll probably be out of figs again tomorrow evening. Just sayin’.)