Sometimes I wonder how I’ve managed to make it this far in life. I wonder this even though I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. I do smart stuff. But I also do a lot of not-so-smart stuff. Examples:
1. I usually go to kickboxing class on Saturday morning. Before I go ANYWHERE, I drink coffee. Ahhh…just typing the word coffee brings a smile to my face:) Coffee. Yum. Anyway, last Saturday I decided I didn’t need to pour my coffee into a travel mug — a regular mug would suffice.
Duh, Laura. Although my cup was half empty…no, wait, it was half full (the optimist in me had issues with the half empty description), roads have bumpy spots. This resulted in spillage. Spillage on me, my coat, and my little Hyundai. And, unlike the McDonald’s lady, I had no one to sue.
I only pretend to like the color brown. Truth is, I wear brown and have a car with a brown interior to mask the many coffee spills.
I’d like to say I learned my lesson and will always utilize travel mugs in the future. However, I’ll probably convince myself that if I hold a regular mug juuuust right, I won’t spill. This probably falls in the “fool me twice, shame on me” category.
2. After spilling coffee on myself, I went to kickboxing. I determined there was no need for a shower and headed to Target. I probably smelled like a mixture of Trader Joe’s coffee and sweat. Ok, probably just sweat. My mom likes to refer to this as “Laura’s homeless look.” I like to think of it as “weekend wear.” After purchasing an extra-large bundle of toilet paper (I had a coupon, and I like fiber), I left the store. I also forgot where I docked my little Hyundai.
I asked myself (out loud), “Laura, where did you park your car?” Turns out, there was a woman behind me.
“Did you forget where your friend parked her car?” she asked with a laugh.
I just said “yes.” She didn’t need to know “Laura” was really “me.”
And, I did find my car. It was right where I’d left it.
3. Finally, I think I’m missing some sort of survival gene. I said I made squash soup. I also disclosed the fact that consumption of said soup was followed by several trips to the potty. It’s probably human instinct to STOP eating foods that result in sickness.
I packed leftover soup for my lunch. Duh, Laura.
I feel very sorry for the lady next to me on the elliptical machine. I bet she wouldn’t have eaten the soup on day 2. I also bet she wishes I wouldn’t have eaten the soup on day 2.
On a positive note, I DO occasionally surprise myself by doing something smart. Unfortunately, I can only come up with ONE example of smart stuff.
1. I was missing the mouthpiece of my beloved water bottle when I put the dishes away. So, I checked the drain BEFORE I ran the garbage disposal…and found it! I saved its life AND reunited it with the other pieces of the water bottle! It’s the little things.